Feeling down about criticism? Follow these tips with NUR HIDAYAH (HAZEL) and learn how to accept and use criticism to your advantage.
In 2018, Ms Janis Foong, 18, was eagerly awaiting her Mathematics results. She had studied hard the day prior and was hoping to overturn her poor track record. However, her hopes were crushed when her teacher handed her the test paper and said: “Other students are improving but you are deproving.” That was the day Ms Janis first started to like criticism.
For most people, criticism is a hard pill to swallow. According to a survey conducted by The Takeaway, over half of the respondents don’t like receiving criticism. However, 71.4 per cent of them believe that criticism is helpful. Respondents also commonly stated that they feel “demoralised” or “embarrassed” when receiving criticism and tend to avoid it.
Why do people hate criticism if it’s beneficial, and why do some like Ms Janis like it?
Ms Janis explains that her desire to prove her teacher wrong pushed her to work harder and since then, she has learnt to use criticism as motivation. Being the student council president in both secondary school and junior college, Ms Janis attributes her success to her ability to take criticism.
This means the only thing stopping us from utilising criticism’s benefits is the way we react to it. Bearing that in mind, with these following tips, you can learn how to accept, embrace and capitalise on criticism!
1. Understand its importance.
Although it’s true that people tend to be their own harshest critics, there are some flaws we just can’t point out ourselves. Those blind spots are where we need feedback the most. Criticism by a third party with good intentions can help us identify and address these shortcomings.
Mr Samuel Toh, 36, a lecturer for Games Design and Development at the Institute of Technical Education College West, has years of experience giving constructive feedback to students. Mr Samuel says students need to understand that “when [educators] give feedback to [students], it’s not meant to hurt them or to demoralise them, but it is for their own good.”
For Ms Janis, she, too, hated criticism from her teachers until she saw her grades improve. This changed her previously negative mindset towards criticism into a positive one.
2. Don’t get too defensive.
It’s normal for us to want to defend ourselves when someone is giving criticism. However, being defensive can cloud our judgement and prevent us from actually listening to the conversation.
Ms Irina Insyirah, 19, a junior content producer at a marketing start-up, is no stranger to receiving criticism. She likes to “space out” when receiving criticism. This defence mechanism has worked against her because she forgets crucial details during meetings.
Ms Irina also admits to subconsciously taking criticism personally, causing her further difficulties when interacting with her boss. “It’s just hard to act normally around [my boss because] all I could think about was the fact that she didn’t like what I did,” she says.
Mr Samuel notes that some students get defensive “as they really take pride in their work."
He acknowledges that feeling “sad” after receiving criticism is normal, but says students shouldn’t dwell on it as “it means that they are one step closer to becoming more knowledgeable."
3. Ask questions.
This will probably feel really unnatural, but it is one of the most effective habits you can form.
When you start asking questions, you’re clarifying doubts and allowing yourself to better understand the criticism. Clarification makes it easier for you to digest feedback and you’re able to then generate better solutions. Ms Janis says that asking questions is crucial for her as “you won’t be able to do better if you don’t know what you don’t know."
“I actually appreciate it when my students ask questions… [it’s] a sign that they are willing to learn and grow,” Mr Samuel says. So don’t be shy, your teachers and bosses won’t bite!
At the end of the day, if you’ve put your all into what you do and you’ve tried your best, that’s all that matters. You don’t need to love other people’s opinions or try to please everyone.
As Ms Janis says, “Being able to take criticism is hard in general so kudos to you if you’re able to do so!”
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